Whale Explosion!

Since 1970 Oregon proudly commemorates a weird but honestly true story of an unfortunate, massive wayward whale that beached itself on the pristine shores of Florence, Oregon. Related in vivid detail to us at Homegrown Brew Pub by a sweet bartender too young to be alive during the actual event, I believed every word she said.

Elders of the township devised a plan to dispose of that lifeless stinking vagrant by stuffing half a ton of dynamite into the belly of the foul monster to bring harmony back to their fine community. While townspeople gawked and carried on, a carnival of sorts, Walter Umenhofer drove his brand new Oldsmobile 98 directly from the showroom floor to the extravaganza to witness the lighting of the fuse. Expecting festive tiny whale confetti, instead an explosion of huge fatty chunks of syrupy, stinking flesh filled the sky, the screaming crowd ran for their lives, dodging eight tons of blood, guts, whale carcass, a massive blob of blubber crushed Walter's shiny new Buick.  

A truly disgusting yet entertaining fiasco, a whale of a tale, one of history's finest.

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