Buy In Bulk

Birthday card from a sister … glammed two year old, soft pink boa, fuzzy glitter slippers, adorable floppy bonnet, pearls galore, giant cats eyes sunglasses, arms laden with packages, an absolutely glorious shopping day. My mind churns for a spell then backtracks to legendary shopping expeditions before Mall of America or Amazon, when Prime was just a number, shopping before it was considered a personality disorder, me and my sisters undeniably afflicted. 

My 30th birthday, sisters all together celebrating me, the youngest of the lot, miraculously survived childhood despite a boisterous tribe gifting me generations of notoriously misguided antics, angelic and innocent, I've been framed since birth. Merely a few decades ago, we devised the ultimate getaway, ditch the husbands and kids, pack the plastic, caffeine, NoDoz and fanny packs. Sunrise to sunset, scouring every single store for the absolute best bargain, when the ultimate deal was plucked from a jammed clearance rack, the entire entourage swarmed, purchased the exactly identical ensemble, same size, same color, same, same, same, same. Sassy and chic clones, symetrical screw tight perms, hefting knock-off handbags, bedazzled and stylish in faux leather stirrup pants. We resembled a mangy poodle family oldest to youngest, furry, fuzzy bouffants only sisters could love. Oblivious, joyful brillo pads with interchangeable wide smiles and of course rockin' mom jeans.

Bulging trunk, every available air pocket stuffed with unbeatable bargains, irresistible one-day-only deals, we saved so much cash we couldn't afford dinner. Arms straining against the load, aching backs carrying the dead weight of almost-free worthless junk, senses reeling as the frenzy diminishes along with our empty pocketbooks. Fast forward thirty-something years, unable and unwilling to sustain the manic pace, now completely content pressing the "Buy Now" button from the comfort of my easy chair, bending over only to retrieve packages from the front stoop.

A simple birthday card, an adorable fashionista, memories of crazed, clueless sisters dodging the fashion police. Inside the card, "We may never be Rich and Famous, but we'll always be fabulous!"
Oh yes my dear sisters, absolutely and forever fabulous.

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